At last, I can wash, clean and keep myself up to scratch, in the comfort of my own home.
Archive for the 'Life' Category
This may be the last blog post I ever do, if CERN has anything to do with it.
You see, in about 5 minutes time, CERN is going to turn on its new toy. The “Large Hadron Collider” is the worlds biggest particle accelerator machine. I don’t know exactly what it does, but I’m sure its pretty impressive.
However, if it goes tits up, it’ll create a black hole. And if that happens, its the end of the universe. Which is not a good thing, as the chances of this are 1 in 50 million.
I predict that somehow, some form of space-squid will appear and cause havoc. Kinda like Half Life, but with tentacles.
So how does it feel that your spending your last minuete in this universe reading my blog? Surely you could find some seedy site on the net and spend your last minutes keeping yourself busy.
Thanks CERN for the World Wide Web, but you can keep the end of the universe.
Plans, Plans, Plans, originally uploaded by Ja.ck.
This is what the workmen for the new bathroom are working off. A (badly done) 3D computer generated image.
Come on, we live in the future. Surely they could have done it in something else than The Sims. At least The Sims 2.
We’ve been waiting for a new bathroom for around 15 years. The current one was made in the 1950s, and has only been updated by a shower and a selection of cheap tiles in the 90’s.
The rulers of my house have decided enough is enough. Time for a change. Rip out all the old crap, and add new stuff to it instead. All sounds good, and all is going well.
They got an honest, hard working company to come round and sort it out. Brought new, solid fittings. Cleaned up the colour scheme (its now white instead of rotten cream) and started the process.
One small problem however. That means theres no shower. No problem, I’ll use the local gyms showers. Nope, there closed, due to work being done. Damn.
With the holidays coming to an end, this means college starts soon. Which also means no more laying about in my pants, stinking to high heaven.
However, there is a solution to this problem. And its a simple one. A series of flannels. Red is for face, Yellow for body, and Blue for the stinky, complicated areas. It takes a long time, compared to a shower, but it works.
So, if you see me about, and want to know the secrete to my super shiney hair, its simple. Don’t wash it.
Yet again, August has been a slow month for me writing and posting the common selection of clap trap. Limited amount of posts with an even lesser amount of content. I seem to be slowing down, which is not something I’m happy about. 
This holiday has gone fast. It didn’t go as planned, but it seemed to generate itself. For example, making Nigella Lawson’s Coca-Cola Cake.
It sorta tasted like chocolate brownies. And it also sorta tasted like coca-cola. Well I guess thats kinda obvious. 
